Red Pen

I can still remember the time I had to write a press release for class in college. I was only a freshman and was taking a class where I had to develop a marketing campaign and do a brief press release for the campaign. When it came back all torn apart and covered in red pen I was offended. A little. You have to understand that my personality trait takes things personally. I can't say I am proud of this - but it is truth. I've temperted it over the years, learned to be better at accepting constructive criticism, and umderstand that my writing style is what I like to call "free flowing." :) My 18 year old self was just mad. My 28 year old self understands that I need to be a better proof reader, and that I will never be someone who is really picky about grammar or spelling.

(When AHB and I first started dating I went to China for 2 weeks right at the begining of our relationship. We had about a week or so together and then had nothing but e-mail communication for two weeks. Every day I looked forward to his e-mails.) In one of our first e-mails I stated the things that we could possibly fight about. One of the things I stated was me not being a good speller. Of course, he had a solution for every aspect, and his come back for my poor spelling was that he was an EXCELLENT speller. In fact, he was a spelling bee champion! Fast forward to last Thursday and Friday...

AHB and I have been working on our program. Well...what I mean by this is that I have been creating it, and every night we sit down and take a look at a hard copy and he makes corrections. Correction after correction. It's practically like he takes every red pen he has ever found and scribbles all over it. Shoot, maybe he just does it for the heck of it. Here were some of his comments:
"The coloring looks different on this dot, than it does on this dot."
"The spacing between this letter is weird."
"I think the graphic needs to be a bit bigger."
"I think this needs italics, and this one doesn't."
"Bigger, smaller, closer, farther..."

Goodness. It's like a piece of me died. Ha. And I recognized it was happening, but what was I to say?

"AHB, I want you to be involved in this process, but I hate that this is happening."
"AHB, I want to kill you and your red pen."

No, none of these options were appropriate.

So I just got quiet. And then we finished, and I agreed to make the corrections. But, later that night he asked me why I was mad. (uh oh) And I said I wasn't - which was the truth. I wasn't mad, I just wanted to kill him. :) Him and his red pen.

I went to work the next day and made some of the corrections over lunch and sent him the document at work. And after a few e-mails back and forth, about other corrections he noticed, I was feeling about the same as the night before. One of my e-mails just said, "I hate you." His response was, "You still have 29 days to change your mind!"

Then my office phone rang.

AHB: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Working."
AHB: "So, I thought I would just call since it would be easier to adjust just a few TINY things over the phone rather than by e-mail..."
Me: (Silence) (Which makes a phone conversation difficult.) "Great."
AHB: "I mean, it looks really good, it's a nice program, I just see a few tiny things..."
Me: "Right, ok what..."
AHB continues to speak for a bit. I can't remember how long, or about what exactly at this time, but we did talk about things. Well, HE talked, I nodded.
AHB: "Ok, why are you mad."
Me: "I'm not mad, keep going."
AHB: "Yes you are."
Me: : "Ok, You have to remember that I am more of a feeler than you are and this is harder for me than you. It's like you are slowly killing me!"
AHB: "Oh, honey, I know this is hard for you. I am VERY aware you are not thrilled about doing this. (Then he adds in for good measure:) It's a REALLY great program. You did a REALLY good job with it. I REALLY like it."
Me: "Stop patronizing me. Stop feeding me with your words of affirmation."
AHB: "But you like that."
Me: "Hrumph."

Reality: I wasn't mad. I mean, he is a GREAT proofreader. I am sure he got a gold star for his mad skills at proof reading. My "ESFJ" and "Words of Affirmation" heart just can't take it. :) The program is yet to be completely finished, but we are darn close.

Reality: I would suggest sending him anything you wanted edited, but I don't think I would ever let him read something that was actually mine. :)

On another note, AHB had the day off for Columbus day (Who get's Columbus day off?!) and was home all day yesterday with the pups. And I came home to the best smelling (and tasting) pot roast ever. :) Thanks for making dinner.

I do have 20-some odd days to change my mind, but it wouldn't change for anything in the world.

mmp